He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
