I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
