I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
