i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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