i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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