What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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