I wish I could punch you in the face.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
