He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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