3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
