You're so nebulous sometimes
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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