i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
