You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
