This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
