I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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