seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
