Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
