I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
