I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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