he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize