Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
