So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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