i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
