so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize