I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
