I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
