now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
