Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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