Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
