i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You can't just leave with hair like that
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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