He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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