# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
