ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize