At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
