I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
