your parents love me but you hate me
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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