oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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