that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
