Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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