I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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