I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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