Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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