It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
