Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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