ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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