I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
