brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
