sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
