Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
