I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize