Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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