I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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