I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
