I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize