mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think your dad took our porno
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
