we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
