Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
