look no pants
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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