So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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