No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
