I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
