??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
