you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
