Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
